Tuesday, May 1, 2012
012
Ended up eating. I couldn't stand it, but it's okay because now I have a stomach ache and learned my lesson. Had a cup of spaghhetti, which I figure is about 300 calories. Plus I'm about to work out until I'm so exhausted that my legs hardly can keep me up. Then I'm going to take a shower, probably cut, and go to sleep.. after working out some more. I almost started crying, I haven't cried because I ate in so long. That's how I know this is bad, when I get emotional over eating a bit of food. And it's so late, too... I just feel so gross. Anyway, my plan is to do 100 jumping jacks, 50 squats, and numberless crunches. Then I'll run in place until I feel it's enough, and I'll go take a shower. I just need to get the fat feeling out of my stomach. Hopefully I still lose tomorrow... I can't do this again. I can't keep failing. I honestly don't think I'll live if I don't make it to my goal weight this summer. I'm not going to want to live... I can't picture myself going to college and continuing on if I'm still this size. That's what motivates me to work out. My dad told me something tonight that I'm going to keep in mind for the rest of my life. "Just don't eat so much, that all the advice I can give ya." Just don't eat so much. Stop eating so much. Stop eating. Stop. Stop.
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