008

I really like a boy. His name is R and he's the smartest boy I have every met. Everyone thinks he's an ass, but I have never thought he seemed anything but nice in all the time I've known him. Maybe hes just treating me differently, because it's me. Maybe not. I consider our pathetic unrequited love story is really nerdy and unnoticed by eneryone but me. I remember every single moment that I've spoken to him. From the time I first met him, to the first time he shared a book with me in English, to the time when we actually spoke together. Alone. To the time when he read an essay I wrote, and we discovered that we had more or less the same views on everything. He's the most perfect thing I have ever seen. Perfect. I love how silly he is, how he skips around like he owns the room. How he's so nerdy, but just confident enough that he's considered to be cool. I love that he calls me a hippie girl, and says that I talk as if I'm excited. I especially like when he teases me and makes his voice all high and acts like me. He's absolutely lovely. I love that he notices me enough, that when we're alone in the computer lab, he'll race me to the printer. I told him I liked his hair, and it was like slow motion. I look at him, ,he looks at me, we grin. He makes fun of the picture I printed off, I trot off as if my heart didn't race when I was next to him. I'm trying hard to be friends with his friends. M is a new friend of mine, and they used to go to their old school together. I figure, get in goo with M, and R will follow. I hope. I wish we had a class together, where we were forced to be paired together or something, and we would become better friends. All I'd need is a few days of speaking to him alone, or to go and smoke weed with him once, and I'd have it in the bag, I think. Like, I feel like I will never meet someone I like this much. he says all the things that I think in my head but are too afraid to say. And I mean everything. The similarities between our beliefs and opinions on things are uncanny. I sometimes feel as if we are actually soul mates. Besides me being a bit quieter, we ate pretty much the same person, with similar interests and everything. I would honestly follow this boy to college. Maybe if we don't get together, I'll at least find someone just like him. Holy fuck, he is so lovely. I didn't realize it right at the moment, but one time in class when we were debating about weed and legalization and that, he was defending legalization, using a lot of quotes from my essay. It sounded a lot like he was defending ME. God, I over analyze and think too much about all this bollucks, I just want it to be simple and for me to be able to just say hey, I think we have way too much in common to just not talk to eachother, and so we should go out. Because you are absolutely perfect and I swear I would never hurt you, would do anything for you. I'd make you those doughnut things each and everyday if it meant I would get to look in those eyes each morning. I feel like we'd be perfect for eachother, so lets give it a go. Then we'd smoke a bowl, have sex for like ten hours, and go elope in France. It'd be lovely. He's so lovely. I'm going to try harder once school is back on next week. I have to try as hard as I can before it's too late.